Friday, August 01, 2014

Nahi Yaha Chaina

Well, thats one form of NYC that I didnt imagine myself thinking about. :)

So, I am finally here. After an intoxicating prelude around the same time last year, I was craving for more. This is arguably the most talked about city in the world. For good reason too.

Cravings generally end up 2 ways. You fulfil it or you end up being disappointed due to the high expectations you have set. I dont know which of the 2 this one falls into. Being an ardent Mumbai fanatic ever since I was a kid, NYC is almost the Western mirror of Mumbai. Frenetic pace to the city. Fraction of a second to decide on stuff. A bustling city which apparently never sleeps. So, I should have been drawn to NYC like a moth to the fire. Did I? Maybe, maybe not.

For starters, last year was very different. I knew I was on a paid vacation. I knew I was going back in 2 weeks. I kind of had this 'Nothing to lose' attitude mostly due to the fact that I may never come back here. Primarily due to my oh-so amazing relation with Visas. Do it now and do it well was the mantra. And I had one helluva ride.

Its not the same this time. There is this pressure associated this time. Pressure of getting a house in order. Pressure of creating a life away from India. For me and my family. But, the most excruciatingly painful task is to do this all alone without my family. There is a zero emotional support level out here. I dont go back home and talk to anyone about some irritant in office. Or, for that matter, about something good that happened. Would have meant a pizza, a movie or a drive back home in Pune. That will need to wait.

Instead, its all about ticking off items on my checklist. Bank account, SSN, Credit Card, Driver's license, a Home with good schools nearby, admission to school, my commute plan, medical insurance, falana timkana. Yes, I am huffing and puffing.

I hate the scenarios wherein I need to agriculture a good time. I have never needed to plan a good time. You don't plan a good time in India. I mean you do not do it always atleast. Plus, its always in my subconscious that I am here for monetary benefits that this country offers. Not completely correct methinks. Every expense is being monitored by me. I am buying beer but should I but that bag of chips? I need to walk 14 blocks but shouldn't I spend $2.50 and take a Subway instead? Oh my gawd! It is getting the F out of me.

And what does the city have to offer? Well, plenty actually. That world city feeling. Some bustling parks, some quieter ones. The best bars that I have been too. A super duper public transport facility. The best evenings. And some fab room mates.

Maybe ... eventually things will settle down once my family is here. And time will also have a say.

Till then, I am trying to analyze ... is it more of a give than a take?

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